Naked

I bare myself, I'm in the nude
I've stripped down naked for you
To turn me away now, would just be rude
The second you get to know my truth
Examine my flaws, under close eye
So that you will never again need to ask why
Place me under the deepest scrutiny
All the millions of pieces of me
Under this light what do you see
As you softly and slowly shame me
Naked I am, I hold no lies
You can easily see all the things I disguise
My truths are revealed, for your eyes to see
So slowly and surely you understand me
Touch me with your hands
So that you may more so understand
The me that is under this skin
Somehow touch the me within
Talk to her and you will find
the deepest part of my heart and mind
The most real and most human of myself
I offer her to help you be blessed
Graced
loved
She is the ultimate truth

I stand here naked, in the nude
hoping you can find my truth
hoping you're the one I've searched for all my life
hoping you can see me, even when you close your eyes
I bare it all in hopes of this
hoping you see more when I'm naked

The Meaning of Life

By all accounts it was meant for us as dwellers of the earth to live peacefully. God most defintely meant it for our good. Because of all the evil in the world people question two things so naturally at some point in their life.

"Why am I here?" And "Is love a real thing?"

Both these are questions that believers such as myself and scientists try to answer in two very different ways.
A scientist might say something to the effect that we exist in this world because of all the laws of evolution. We weren't here at first but we developed from some micro-organism or some dumb crap like that. They may try to explain the feelings we get from loving others as endorphins released from the brain and giving the pleasurable places on our body feel good sensations.
Believers like me believe we are here because God created us and this world. Simple. We believe that love is our gift from God. And in many ways love is God.

Maybe a believer's idea of life is a little more complex than what I just stated but when you get down to the point of it...for most people that about sums it up.

I have a bit of a mixed philosophy because I always try to see things a certain way...
Personally, those two questions mesh into one big philosophical answer for me. We were put here on this earth to love one another. Love is the supreme and superior understanding of the world in which we live. No one can escape love, we all fall prey to it at some point. We should want that love. We should never run from it we should only surrender. It is the healthy thing for us.

My own view of love is that it is the most extreme of the extremes...the most powerful of all powers heard of. Love the noun is an abstraction. You can not physically sense it in any way. You can however make total sense of it in your mind, which is why so many people have so many different views of it.

Love the verb is an extreme action to something or someone. The act of loving is pleasant and mind sobering . Loving allows us to see life in a completely different light. When you love, and you keep constant with that love, life is complete and joyful and peaceful. You cannot see yourself loving someone, you can however feel the emotions that come along with love.Love does that. To everyone.

I know I sound like a hippie right now but I'm not trying to because my understanding of love isn't about making love (sex) it's about experiencing something so different that sex is irrelavant. My understanding of love is that love as the abstract noun and as the most active verb...is God. And if love is the meaning of life, and love and God are one and the same...God is the meaning of life.
LOVE=GOD :-)

Seek Peace, Find Blessings
Kitty

The Generic God Bless You

People say it everyday. For many different reasons. One could be in a good mood, one could say it meaning "thank you", or someone could be saying it simply because someone sneezed. Yes if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm talking about the phrase, "God Bless You." It has become such a common courtesy of our world to say those words. So common that I take issue with the meaning behind those words from some people. All too often those words are used to mask malice or anger. An example of this happened to me during the Christmas season. A middle aged woman came up to our car after we left out of a Marshalls after Christmas shopping for some last minute items. She told us her story about how she had been living out of her car with her kids for the last few days and asked if we could spare a few dollars for her and her kids to eat lunch. While I had no reason to believe the lady was lying,we still couldn't afford to spare her a few dollars, we were struggling as it was to get things ready for Christmas. So unfortunately we had to tell her no. She looked disappointed and let out a "God Bless You anyway." Well suffice it to say I didn't feel very blessed by those words. Her heart wasn't in them. Her mouth spoke words that she didn't actually mean. There are better examples of malice behind those words, this is just one that is all too common. It happens when someone doesn't get their way. When they wish to make whomever they said the words to feel guilt or shame. As if throwing God into the mix will shame you for not acting more Christ-like. I will admit, in this case if her intent was to shame me, it worked. I found myself wishing that I had given her something to help her out, but we really couldn't afford to.

All too often people use the phrase God Bless you in a negative way. People use it so nonchalantly not even realizing what they are saying.
Those three words hold so much power. Those words are like prayer to God individualized for one person. God Bless You. I challenge anyone who reads this to say those words as if they are magic, like 'abra cadabra,' because in a strange kind of way they are majestic. They are privileged words that should not be taken as lightly as we take them. When you say those words mean those words. Say them in situations where your intent really is to ask God to bless someone. That phrase connects our souls and shows compassion of a far greater kind than any thank you in any language in the world. God Bless You is one of the most tender beautiful phrases you can say to another person, likened to I love you. Those words have power beyond our understanding. They are what places God between two individuals and unites them in a point in time. God Bless You means more than what people have turned it into and I'm here to reclaim it's artful, majestic, powerful, holiness. Those three words coupled together deserve better treatment and intent out of the mouths from which they come.

Find Peace and Be Blessed,
Kitty

Blossoming

There are people out in the world, whose sole purpose in life is to hurt others. I know that sounds like a grim start to this Blog entry, but the fact of the matter is that it is true. There are people who want to see others unhappy all the time. They feed off the hurt and anger and desperation of others, so much in fact that they seemingly get a high from it and seek it no matter the detriment that it may cause to others. These people are in our world to do the devils work, and they are good at their jobs. They are excellent at it. But we, as Gods people, must learn to bloom all year round because it becomes to painful to hold back the good within us.

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
-Anais Nin

God sees the abundance of joy and laughter that you want to spread, and he's not asking you to wait and share it. He's telling you to go ahead and spread this. Especially in this day and age. This world could use a little happiness right now. No matter how minuscule your role in life may seem to be it is necessary in the grand design. You may have allowed someone to convince you that what you do, and who you are doesn't matter, but don't allow that muddy water to track into your mind because it will cloud and distort the visions that God places into your heart and mind.

You yourself may be your own worse enemy. You may have convinced yourself of failure. Good intentions are almost always corrupted by fears. But Fear Not, because God is with You. He always is.

My point in its entirety is that whether it be you, or an enemy who is stopping you from your path toward divinity, take a moment to think about who it is and what their real goals are in your life. Soak in the joy and the plan that God originally set for you and Open up your heart to the truth behind your existence. And everyday for the rest of your life, you will BLOSSOM.

Find Peace and Be Blessed,
Kitty

And the Tears

For all the rain that has fell from the skies For all the pain that has formed in my eyes For every mountain that I've had to climb Lord I thank you for all my trials For every step backwards that I have taken For every blessing that I've forsaken For every time you've helped me realize the truth Lord I thank you Every plunge I've made through the years Every time I've hidden from my fears Thank you for drying the eyes of the weary Thank you for the pain and the tears For without these tears I wouldn't know true pain Without my struggles I'd have little to gain Lord if not for your test I wouldn't be head strong Life wouldn't be worth living if nothing went wrong For I know I can only receive true happiness through you Because after all the test, trials, and tribulations I go through I know you only do this to benefit my mind, body, and spirit So thank you for the pain and the Tears -By Cathryn Brooks AKA Kitty This poem

This poem is dedicated to anyone who wants to know why God is testing you. He's testing you to make you stronger and to get you ready for what's coming next. He's testing you so that you can stand in the time of a storm. Don't question his excellence, or his wisdom. Accept his test and try your best to pass them.

Human Nature

Sometimes people are just too proud to let people help them. Sometimes people are too proud to say sorry when they know they're at fault for something. Sometimes people hold up that brick wall to there hearts and won't allow love in. Why? I know I'm just a naturally emotional person and that the ease of expressing my emotions is not something other people have readily accessible. But one thing I do want to get straight is that I am not a pushover because of these emotions. I am simply human. It's programmed into everyone at some point in there life to be lovestruck, to help someone, and to eventually hurt someone. We can only hope that in our time of need we too will receive love and sacrifice from another human being. I was talking to my sister the other day and for some reason she thinks that people should make a life for themselves without help from anyone else. I just don't see how that would be possible. There's a lot more good in this world than what people presume. And along with that good comes help from people,whether strangers or otherwise. Any little thing people can do even something as simple as holding open a door for someone is warranted at any moment in time. People pleasantly surprise one another every minute of every day. I think the most salient factor in life is to help and give to people even when you know it won't benefit you in any way.God wants us to be human, to hurt...to cry...to aspire...to help...to care...to love. I'm just thinking where would our species be without compassion. Where would all the great nations of the world be Today...if no one ever loved and cared for someone else. Sure we hurt each other, but we heal and we love again. Hurt only makes us stronger....teaches us lessons

I think I'm rambling a lot but to exemplify my point....there was a show about secret millionaires and from the preview of the show I deduced that the millionaires would be giving large sums of money to people who were deserving of it. One of the people given this money responded...'do you know how many people I can help with this money?' it was a pivotal point in my journey to womanhood. I want to help people and I don't want anything from them. I want people to look at me and say she does all she can to uplift a dying human spirit. I want people to see me as someone who cares about everyone.

Please don't think I'm a hippie, tree hugger type of person...because I'm not. I just have undying faith in love and the human capacity to receive and give it...I believe it's limitless.

Find Peace and Be Blessed
Kitty

Light and Dark

This is an issue I have had for many years. It is the most primal of fears to mankind. I have always been afraid of the dark. It may seem kind of childish, but I was taught to fear the unknown, and in the dark you don't know anything because it is so very powerfully blinding in a way that you have no control over. Darkness is beautiful in that, it can never really be seen...but it's extremely terrifying to me because I love to be able to see. I think creation, all of creation is beautiful and to not be able to see it is simply too distressing, so distressing that I have the most irrational thoughts flowing through my head when in the dark. But this is true to anything that is unknown. For example if someone was to sit next to you whispering to someone else and they both happened to look over at you...one would automatically assume that they one was being talked about in a negative way. One would have the craziest irrational thoughts come through their mind. Darkness does this to me. Darkness whispers all around me and makes me think negative things that it is trying to do. HMMMM...does that make sense???
Light on the other hand is just beautiful. It is a presentation of the world around us and reveals truths that the darkness has absolutely no authority to divulge. Light is revelation of what was in the dark and darkness is a concealer of the truth. They are both useful in there own ways. Darkness though to me is less useful because it freaks me out. What we must realize is that in the darkness God is there. Maybe we can't see him or hear him. But the positivity the calming factor of the darkness, how we peacefully sleep through the night in the dark and how we feel secure at some point, is the point when God reaches us. It's the point when our fears are overcome by the presence of Him.

This is how I find my peace. With the knowledge that God is always there.

So...

Find Peace and Be Blessed,
Kitty

How to Save a Life

One is ever mindful of the fact that the world is changing, that American society is suffering from a nervous condition called "recession". The news has reminded us continuously for the last 4 years, and the busy advertisers of Fortune 500 companies entice us with their products so highly priced (sometimes so cheaply made). America has become a black hole of financial waste and ruin. We are consumed in a pool of greed and materialism. One who takes the issues of a greener earth to heart may well be let down from their endeavors because the green society kick may not make it that far.
The World is just moving much too fast. We can't even catch up with ourselves. We witnessed Hurricane Katrina in 2005, a Japanese tsunami in 2006, a strand of huge earthquakes in 2010, a major oil spill in 2010, another Japanese tsunami that led to the destruction or damage of a nuclear plant, and most recently a group of tornados ripping up the middle, south, and eastern coast of America. Mother earth is trying to tell us something but do we listen. No. How much more can she take, how much more destruction does she need to go through before finally she destroys it all. How can we save the life and spirit of something that has been so good and beautiful to us. She's crying, she's depressed, and she's dying mother earth is. Does anyone know how to save her life?

Kitty

The Most Beautiful Beauty

So lately I’ve been listening to a lot of music by a Christian group called Ashmont Hill. The lyrics of their music are just so thought provoking. I love music that gets my juices flowing in my head. So tonight one of their songs got me thinking about beauty and what it is to me. Of course being me it’s not one simple thing. It is very complex even though it’s the simplest gift we are given. My answer is love. Love is the single most beautiful thing in the world because of it's uniqueness in its purest form. Jesus died on the cross because he loves us. He didn’t even know if it would be worth it, but He did it out of love. So we could live. That’s true and amazing love. People get love mixed up with sexual feelings and lustful feelings because those feelings make the body feel good, but when you truly love someone and they love you that person makes your spirit feel good. Don’t get me wrong, sexual feelings or lustful feelings toward a person doesn’t mean that you can’t love them, it simply means you have an earthly bond more so than a heavenly one. Love is complex in two ways. First that it is not hate. It is much easier in today’s world to hate someone than love them, hate has only one face, and one purpose which is to destroy. Love serves a multitude of purposes to promote joy, peace, happiness, solidarity, and harmony among human kind. Love is secondly complex in that it is freely given to us, and we rarely use it. God gives us love in return He only wants love. An equal exchange, thus it is free. Hate on the other hand isn’t free. Our spirits pay for hate that we intake. When you hate something or someone, it damages your spirit. It hurts you and affects you in way you never thought it could. Hate is devastating to ones spiritual well-being. It feeds off of your spirit and darkens it. Love to the contrary opens up your spirit to more love, to peace, and joy, and happiness and light. It is amazing to me how complex love is aesthetically and how simple it actually is. How simple to realize. How beautiful to understand that God gives a part of himself through love, and many of us want nothing to do with it. Love is the most beautiful thing yet we as a society have darkened it in the media, making it seem as though it has hurt people. Love is never blinding, love is never painful, love is always positive. Whatever you heartbroken people are feeling is not love. If you’re ever really IN love you won’t be at it’s mercy. If you are merely AROUND love, the projection of it will comfort and enthrall you. If you are OUT of love, just realize how you are never really out of love because the most beautiful aspect about love (and why I think it’s the most beautiful kind of beauty)is that GOD IS LOVE. Never ever forget that God encompasses the most beautiful gift He could ever give.

Find Peace and Be Blessed,
Kitty

After the Storm

It is common to get what we want and stray away from the things that led us there. It is also common to forget or not recognize what has pulled you out of the storm in the first place. Just because this is a human phenomenon does not make it right. The Bible says that we should continuously praise God. Sadly I haven't taken heed of my own words. I was struggling recently and I kind of still am. I've come up with two theories on why my struggle hasn't been resolved.

1. When people hurt it forces them to turn to God. Therefore God keeps you in struggle so that you want stray away from Him.

2. The devil is continuously attacking you bringing you into despair because it's what he does best.

If you live your life believing in the latter you are going to continuously question God's love for you. Believe that the devil is attacking you but also that the Lord has your back in these attacks, because truly the battle is not yours it really is the Lord's. God wants us to be happy, people who believe in a God of unhappiness are believing in the wrong being. Just because we struggle doesn't mean that we cannot be happy.The true test in the struggle is finding joy and peace through God, in the midst of the struggle. Don't believe that God has it out for you. Believe that God is looking out for you.

Find Your Way Through the Storm
Kitty

Down and Out

When I was growing up I was always taught to go to God when I hurt. Lately I feel like all I'm doing is going to Him to complain about everything that's going so wrong in my life. I'm having financial issues, and it's not like I wanna be rich (though that would be wonderful)I just wanna be secure. I want to be able to pay my bills off and be able to get the things that I need and some of the things I want. It's only human nature to want more than what you have...I feel like all that I'm doing is sitting around waiting for the next thing to go wrong.
Last night I talked to my best friend and I was just talking about how things always, ALWAYS get so much worse before they get any better...I started remembering how God takes you through levels of bad to show you how strong you are. God has taken me through so much within the last month I just feel faint at every step but He has also been my strength and my courage and my joy through this last month and a half and I just can't imagine getting through everything without Him. Without my faith.
Hope in times of struggle is all that we could ever hold on to...in the middle of hope is the idea of love. When you are hopeful you believe that you are loved by a Higher being so much that He will never give you more than you can bear...and maybe sometimes it may seem that you are given too much to bear but you aren't really...YOU are still BREATHING.
In hindsight of all my trials and struggles I look back and welcome them because they have made me such a strong person, you live through it to fight another battle and become EVEN stronger. I can only think of the strength I am receiving as I struggle to get to the top of this Mountain. I can only think of the power given to me by God as I whirl in this storm to get to my calm. I can only think of the miracles I am about to receive...my eyes are on the prize...NOT the struggle.
As black sisters and brothers we are all too often confronted with crisis (ie murders, theft, fires, financial problems, family arguments,everything)We also learned through a strong institution of faith and belief that the Lord works in a very mysterious way. Even if you don't go to church or don't have a community religious go to place, someone you know, is praying for you...Maybe you yourself know to pray. God is very present in our lives. He is always there even in times when we don't have an urgent need for him. He is there protecting us. Making us stronger...keeping us safe, keeping us blessed. He is our Father which art in Heaven, yet his love and joy and spirits walk the earth to protect us every second of the day and night. His Love is all we ever need
So, even when you're feeling down and out...feeling like the universe is against you...nobody can help...nobody can understand...you don't really understand yourself. Just realize that God knows you can...because He is the strength behind your will and the power behind your faith. God KNOWS YOU BEST...just keep the faith and You will prevail.

Find Peace and Be Blessed.
Kitty

My Own Aesthetic

I have come to realize that I don't think the way that everyone else I know does. I think that when I finally realized I was different it was because of the way my mind worked. I'm a strange being, I can sit in the sun and literally feel like God is touching me. I can wake up with a smile on my face and believe truly that God has instilled Joy on my heart for the day. I can see the leaves turn orange and yellow and pink and brown during autumns months and have such peace within my spirit. Nature makes me feel grounded. It makes me feel so close to God. There are times when I want to cry and all I have to do is step outside and I'm reminded of what God is giving to me. This is my own Aesthetic, and maybe it doesn't sound too different from somebody like Thoreau or Ralph Waldo Emerson but when I think of how much the natural beauty of things has impacted my life and changed me from sad to JOYOUS, I realize how nature, created by God, is where my spirit goes to escape. It makes me high. It is my anecdote and at the same time it's my drug. It is a beautiful feeling, and emotion to feel so connected to God. It happens more so in the Autumn than any other season. I love this season it is just such a spiritually grounding season for me. I feel beautiful, I know I glow, and I have such peace. Get like me and let the cool air, take you somewhere you rarely see.

Find Peace and Be Blessed
Kitty

True Beauty

People need to understand that loving yourself comes before loving anyone else. If you can't love yourself, you don't know what love is. currently someone that I'm very close to is going through something that has caused me to call into question whether or not this person loves their own self. It's okay to let compliments boost your self esteem, but it's not okay to allow yourself to depend on compliments to boost you up. One thing that should never be downplayed is the fact that you can look in the mirror and see yourself and smile and be pleased with yourself with no one around. Feel beautiful when you're alone and when you don't have make up on, and when your hair is a mess. True beauty, comes from within...it truly does. You can be beautiful physically and have the nastiest personality and be so ugly...you can be physically limited to some peoples eye and have a beautiful spirit and that beauty radiates from within. DO NOT depend on a person to boost your ego, nor looks to be what makes you feel beautiful. A large chunk of people prefer beautiful spirits over beautiful faces. Step out of that traditional way of looking at beauty and focus on what truly is beautiful about you. God created something beautiful about you, you were created in His likeness, thus you are beautiful, and once you see that beauty for yourself you'll start to see your Joy and find your PEACE.

Let Go and Let God

I've seen so many seemingly ill fated events unravel in my life. I've seen so much that I just thought I wouldn't recover from. It's crazy how blessed my family has been, it's amazing how God's grace has pulled us through time and time again. Some people don't believe that God favors. I truly do believe it...my family has been in so many situations where we could have easily lost our minds and just as easily given up. We have come dependent on His love. He's an amazing peace giver in rough times and I wouldn't say it if I weren't a witness to it. I understand why many people cry their hearts out in hard times, I still do, yet if you understand that God never gives you more than you can bear, your tears become less abundant. I'm so much stronger from the many things that I've encountered in my life, so much wiser. I will never say that I've made it on my own, because I know that without Grace from God I'd be just another lowly person on the streets, wishing I had something to pull me through. I'm a witness, my entire family is testimony to the fact that when you let go, and let God, Everything, EVERYTHING will be alright.
I won't dwell on the negative, but I'll faithfully stand on the Peace that God has given me every morning when I wake. I will stretch that peace into the night when I fall asleep. I will take the joy that He gives to me in the new day, and happily share it with people throughout my day.
I guess what I'm trying to get at now, is that when you feel like you're blessed from head to toe and all your surrounding air is blessed as well, WHEN YOU'RE FAVORED, and you KNOW it, share that blessing with someone else. Make someone else's day and let them Know that they need only to call upon His name and He will answer.

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. Chronicles 2 7:14

Woke Me Up this Morning

There is nothing I remember more vividly from my childhood than the times I played with neighborhood friends in our big vast yard off to the side of our large home. I remember it so well because it was when I was happiest. I often take a trip down memory lane in my mind and find myself laying in the grass with the sun beaming straight down on me and me soaking in the rays. It's my good place. It's were my mind takes me when I need to escape. It is where I wish I could spend eternity. In that state of mind, that physical condition, that absolute joy and peace. I never had a worry or a care then, and nowadays, it seems as if all I have are worries and cares. Just wish sometimes I could go back to those days...
I was awaken today from what I assume was my peaceful slumber, I turned over to find my baby staring at me. Bucked eyes, staring straight into mine. It scared me, then it made me laugh. This peaceful place of mine, must have overcome my entire state of being. She must have been confused, because usually my mind isn't in a state of peace, it usually is in utter chaos. Not that my life is chaotic, my mind simply makes my world chaotic, because I'm realizing how naive I've been about just about everything that I ever believed in. This world is not a safe, perfect place. Life happens to everybody and we have to find ways to cope. We have to find a way to escape what life dishes out. I escape mine in my sleep and through prayer and through writing. I escape all of it. I leave the world behind and enter a realm of life that won't hurt me or anyone else. A world where there is peace.
That peaceful look upon my face isn't what my daughter is used to. It's not what any of my family is used to. It isn't something that is common for me. She must have been curious. And as I laid in bed and thought about it more and more, I realized that she needs to be around that version of me more often because I don't want her to grow up and have to be as concerned about EVERYTHING as I am. I want her to ponder on her thoughts of course but I don't want her to dwell on things as much as I do. It truly drives me crazy when I do. It makes my heart race and my brain ache to think the way I do. But I don't know how to stop being a worrier. It's a part of how I function. It's a part of why I care so much about the world, about actions, behaviors, respect, love...
I laid there and I told God, "Thank you for waking me up this morning."
It's how I wish to start all my days, this is the first thing I want to state everyday and next I said, "Today will be a good day." It is a declaration of the peace I so desire to have. He did wake me up this morning after having such a peaceful slumber and He will give me a beautiful day. I feel it. I know it. I claim it.

Find Peace and Be Blessed,
Kitty

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.!!!

Assuming that everyone wasn't raised by a mother that taught them the "Golden Rule" I will give some people the benefit of the doubt. I'll excuse a couple of people for their ridiculous, outlandish, inhumane behavior. Some people are just not capable of respecting others and sometimes I understand. Sometimes you run across something that is altogether too unreal and too disgusting to even attempt to RESPECT. Notice though that I did say "thing." I would personally never disrespect a fellow human being (at least not on purpose) It's that beautiful Golden Rule that has held me back from the organized chaos that is so many other peoples lives. Respect on the road, respect in the church, respect in the class, respect in the home...No matter where I am, I'll respect you as long as you give me the same courtesy.
I wasn't raised in a world where you could walk on somebodies heels and not even notice that you were invading personal space. Nor was I raised in a world where cursing somebody out became daily routine. I was however raised in a hood where people were disrespected all the time. But to me and my perfect little Utopian world, RESPECT had a natural presence. I don't know, maybe it's because I had this perfect view of the world and human nature. Lately I've been so let down by some of the pigheaded things one human could do and say to another. My perfect little naturally respectful world is crumbling into pieces.
Today I had a conversation with someone very close to me about the gay community and while I won't go into detail about the conversation I will say that I'm a straight person and I felt deeply disrespected by the conversation. It hurt some of the things that were said. I guess that it hurt so bad because it made me realize how stupid and evil some people think. How blatantly disrespectful a person can be.
Why though?
What are you trying to achieve?
Why hurt someone like that?
For personal gain? What gain could possibly be worth that put down?
The saying that sticks and stones can break your bones but words will never hurt is just not true at all.

Words hurt, they pierce the skin, they pierce the mind, they break the heart of many people everyday. You can't tell me that Heartbreak isn't painful because I know that it is. I've experienced it...and til this day I'm not over it...it's long lasting pain.

I guess what I'm trying to say is Respect is a necessary in today's world. Some people don't realize the impact that their words make on other. But words no matter how small or big, make impressions on people whether we know it or not. So the smartest thing to do to insure maximum RESPECT is to watch what we say, know what we say, and mean what we say.

Find Peace and Be Blessed,
Kitty

On Being a Mother

Life has been so great now that little Mckenzie is here. She has turned me into the woman I was destined to be. I'm so protectant of her and though I didn't know that I had it in me to be a mother, I've suprised myself at all the natural motherly instincts that have come out of me so far. Mckenzie is six months old and was premature so she is a month late in her development, meaning she's six months but her developement physically and mentally are as if she were just turning five months. I couldn't be any more proud of her and my little family. I feel like my life is finally started to take turns that I want it to take. God is starting to shine His light on us. It's always been shining I guess, but now I can see it. I don't ever want this feeling of love and joy in my soul and heart to end. My little family will be successful. I claim it in God's name. That spirit of fear and the spirit of worry are not of God, I will ever more put all my faith into His Holy name, and claim the spirit of Success for me and my little baby and future Husband.

Find Peace and Be Blessed,
Kitty

Kicks

Today I got the butterfly things happening in my wound. I came to the realization that it wasn't gas and that it's my little baby kicking me. I cannot wait to meet this little person. For the longest time when I found out about it I was doubting that I was ready for this little darling but he/she is making me realize how beautiful my life is destined to be. I'm forced to take care of myself which is hard because I'm one of those people who go over and beyond the necessary to get a job done. I'm one of those people who will lose sleep to finish up a homework assignment. Now I must get my rest and I must not push, pull, or lift too hard or high. I've never been more excited and scared about a change in my life. I promise to give this child all I ever wanted, and EVERYTHING THAT HE/SHE NEEDS. All my love belongs to this little miracle child. My little baby...

Be Blessed,
Kitty