Woke Me Up this Morning

There is nothing I remember more vividly from my childhood than the times I played with neighborhood friends in our big vast yard off to the side of our large home. I remember it so well because it was when I was happiest. I often take a trip down memory lane in my mind and find myself laying in the grass with the sun beaming straight down on me and me soaking in the rays. It's my good place. It's were my mind takes me when I need to escape. It is where I wish I could spend eternity. In that state of mind, that physical condition, that absolute joy and peace. I never had a worry or a care then, and nowadays, it seems as if all I have are worries and cares. Just wish sometimes I could go back to those days...
I was awaken today from what I assume was my peaceful slumber, I turned over to find my baby staring at me. Bucked eyes, staring straight into mine. It scared me, then it made me laugh. This peaceful place of mine, must have overcome my entire state of being. She must have been confused, because usually my mind isn't in a state of peace, it usually is in utter chaos. Not that my life is chaotic, my mind simply makes my world chaotic, because I'm realizing how naive I've been about just about everything that I ever believed in. This world is not a safe, perfect place. Life happens to everybody and we have to find ways to cope. We have to find a way to escape what life dishes out. I escape mine in my sleep and through prayer and through writing. I escape all of it. I leave the world behind and enter a realm of life that won't hurt me or anyone else. A world where there is peace.
That peaceful look upon my face isn't what my daughter is used to. It's not what any of my family is used to. It isn't something that is common for me. She must have been curious. And as I laid in bed and thought about it more and more, I realized that she needs to be around that version of me more often because I don't want her to grow up and have to be as concerned about EVERYTHING as I am. I want her to ponder on her thoughts of course but I don't want her to dwell on things as much as I do. It truly drives me crazy when I do. It makes my heart race and my brain ache to think the way I do. But I don't know how to stop being a worrier. It's a part of how I function. It's a part of why I care so much about the world, about actions, behaviors, respect, love...
I laid there and I told God, "Thank you for waking me up this morning."
It's how I wish to start all my days, this is the first thing I want to state everyday and next I said, "Today will be a good day." It is a declaration of the peace I so desire to have. He did wake me up this morning after having such a peaceful slumber and He will give me a beautiful day. I feel it. I know it. I claim it.

Find Peace and Be Blessed,
Kitty